Shame is when you believe you are something; for example you do something wrong and you think you are a bad person.
You can sometimes feel shame when everyone laughs at you when you say something that they think is wrong. That is a very hard thing to deal with. You can sometimes become fearful of being your true self. Being authentic, or being your true self is a choice you can make everyday. Instead of saying I am Bad start to think, I am a good person but I made a bad decision in what I did Therefore you know you are not BAD you realise you just made a bad decision. Next time you can make a different decision.
A way to avoid shame is to not let the opinions of others affect you, as long as you are acting in a good way and not hurting anyone you are being you. Once you start to fight back, change yourself to be someone whom people want you to be to fit in, you are not being yourself.
While you cannot change feelings of shame you have about an event that happened in the past, you can change your feeling to one of acceptance i.e. you cannot change it now so it is best to accept it and move forward. What you can do is take the strong emotional feeling from it and you can do this by tapping if you like.
You can print off a picture of the tapping points here or watch a You Tube video showing you where the points are by clicking here.
You can pick any one of these lines below to say when you are tapping or you can make up your own things to say;
Even though I feel so ashamed for what happened to me I fully and completely accept myself.
Even though I wish the ground would open up and swallow me I feel so ashamed I fully and completely accept myself.
Even though I am afraid I will do or say the wrong thing again I fully and completely accept myself.
I accept that I am not perfect and I am ok with that.
Being perfect is too hard and is not necessary I accept myself the way I am.
I accept that I can get things wrong at times and I fully and completely accept myself and I can learn from my mistakes.