Figuring Out Our Emotions
Life Can Seem Like A Labyrinth/Maze Sometimes When It Comes To Our Emotions!
Often we feel very happy and feel like we have no problems in our life and then at other times it seems like we have lots of problems.
A good thing to do if you feel like this is to look at what is going on in your life. What are the things that you feel are problems? Write it down if you want, this helps.
Look and see from what you have written down if there is something you can do differently?
Sometimes when you really think about what is going on around you, you can see a way out. Sometimes you realise you may have to change your attitude, sometimes you realise you have to tell someone about what is going on and sometimes you think there is just no way out for you. Maybe you just have to accept the ways things are at the moment and realise that things will get better.
In the book Lorcan and the Magic Whistle, Lorcan was being laughed at for not being able to play football at school, he felt isolated and hid behind the red topped mushroom.
He felt like he had only two choices at the time:
- He could challenge the people who were laughing at him or he could isolate himself. He did not like challenging people as he did not feel strong enough to do this and he felt there were so many of them.
- He could chose to hide everyday from them.
In the beginning Lorcan choose to hide from them but he felt very sad and cried a lot.
But when he stopped and really looked at things he realised he had more than two choices.
With the help of Fairy Godmother he learned that if he listened to his heart he could fix his problem in another way. His heart was telling him to play the whistle which was an instrument he loved. So he started to play the whistle and as well as fixing his problem he ended up making new friends at school!
He realised he did not need to fight anyone nor did he need to hide anymore. He became very happy. He navigated the labyrinth/maze by using his own inner compass (his heart this time) and came out at the correct place at the end!
You can do this too.
What are Emotions
Emotions show us how we feel. When we feel sad, the sadness is an emotion and being happy that is an emotion too.
Sometimes a person can do something to us that makes us really cross and we don’t always know what to do. And knowing what to do when we feel an emotion is very important. We might feel so mad that we hit out or say something that makes someone else sad. You can think of it as finding the right key to unlock the emotion and letting it out in a way that does not hurt anyone.
If someone says something horrible to you and you feel really cross what are you likely to do? How will you let this “cross feeling” out of your body so it does not get stuck? It is very easy to react in an angry way back to them.
It can be a good idea not to react straight away when you feel very cross because you will probably do or say something that you will be sorry about.
Taking a deep breath and walking away can be a super idea at times. It doesn’t mean that you are weak it means you are a stronger person that the person that made you cross. You are able to think before you do something unlike the other person.
Why do other people treat you in a mean way?
People can be mean for a lot of different reasons, sometimes someone may have made them angry earlier and, unlike you, they did not know what to do with their anger so it got stuck, then when they met you they let the anger come out against you.
Maybe they are mean to you because they are jealous of you and think you are better than them at something.
That is not your problem to deal with, that is something they will have to learn how to deal with themselves. That is why walking away sometimes can be good. It doesn’t mean you accept what they said it just gives you time to become stronger.
You can always tell the person that what they said made you cross or angry or whatever emotion you felt. If you feel you just couldn’t tell them, then make sure you tell someone. If you are in the schoolyard tell a teacher, if you are outside your house tell your parents or tell someone you trust. Remember, “A problem shared is a problem cut in half”!
Another good idea is to change the way you feel .. this one takes a little practice but it really, really works!! If someone says to you “You have a big nose” try to turn the conversation into a comedy rather than a fight. You might need to practice a little!
You could take a deep breath and say something like “Yes and it comes in very handy for sticking in a keyhole and opening a lock” or something like that. Then people will laugh but they are not laughing at you they are laughing at what you said.
This is very important to understand.
I always think of it like when I say something the words are out there in a bubble, like a bubble you make and inside are the words. So when someone laughs at something I say they are laughing at what is in the bubble. That bubble is not connected to my body it is out there away from me and any laughing that anyone does cannot affect me. It’s what is in the bubble that they are laughing at, not me as a person! Try it… it works a treat.